Top 31 Things Everyone Should Know

A while ago I was webbing and came across a list of twenty-five things everyone should know how to do. On the list included items like: “Be able to drive in reverse with a trailer in tow” or “Determine your direction with a watch and the sun.” I thought these were pretty cool tips… and of course I can’t find that list anywhere on the web now. So I’ve searched and found another list pretty similar and I’ve added a couple more below. So check it out, see if you are a well rounded human being! My abilities are also listed below…

Change a flat tire
Cure a hangover
Sew on a button
Clean your place in under 45 minutes
Whistle with your fingers
Order wine in a restaurant without getting stiffed
Remove common stains
Parallel park
Cook one "signature meal"
Jump-start a car
Wrap a present
Do the Heimlich maneuver
Open a champagne bottle
Take good pictures
Change a diaper
Carve a birthday cake
Help someone out of a car
Get a raise
Use a compass
Keep a plant alive for more than a year
Send a drink to someone's table
Finish a piece of furniture
Hold your liquor
Fold a fitted sheet
Write superior thank-you notes
Dance a "slow dance" without looking like an idiot
Start a fire
Hold a baby
Use a full place setting properly

Drive a Manual Transmission Vehicle

Handle a Hammer, Axe or Handsaw

Okay are you ready? Make Your Marks!!!! Mine are below…

Change a flat tire NO – Can’t get the lug nuts off
Cure a hangover NO – Suffer you bastard!
Sew on a button YES
Clean your place in under 45 minutes YES – 5 Minutes if they are in the driveway!
Whistle with your fingers NO
Order wine in a restaurant without getting stiffed NO
Remove common stains Yes with scissors.
Parallel park NO…I live in Connecticut we don’t parallel park..we have people!
Cook one "signature meal” Um…no
Jump-start a car what and have the battery blow up in my face?
Wrap a present But of course!
Do the Heimlich maneuver If I had to
Open a champagne bottle No
Take good pictures I think they are good. Others say they are blurry, look fine to me!
Change a diaper Been there …
Carve a birthday cake I never knew you CARVED a cake…so I’ll have to say No.
Help someone out of a car you mean besides opening the door and saying ‘get out!’ ?
Get a raise I’ve pissed enough people off in my life
Use a compass The direction kind? Or that pointy thing with the pencil?
Keep a plant alive for more than a year As long as it’s plastic, sure!
Send a drink to someone's table I do every night it’s called dinner
Finish a piece of furniture I would think I’d have to START one first.
Hold your liquor For how long?
Fold a fitted sheet I worked seven years at a laundry mat…
Write superior thank-you notes Yes
Dance a "slow dance" without looking like an idiot No
Start a fire Yes with a lighter…No rubbing sticks together
Hold a baby As long as I can give it back
Use a full place setting properly Yes.

Drive a Manual Transmission Vehicle I have a hard enough time with an automatic

Handle a Hammer, Axe or Handsaw Ouch..

So as you can see I have some work to do.

Unemployment People vs. the US Government

PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING DISCLAIMER: In no way shape or form am I bashing the US Government / the State of Connecticut/ the Department of Labor or any other group I have not mentioned – EVERYONE I have met with / spoken to / or other methods of communicating have been helpful / courteous / polite.

I have been in the work force for over thirty-five years. I have paid my taxes, both Federal and State. I have followed all the ‘rules’ – I am a true blue American and proud of it. I never bash the government, I believe ‘if you don’t like it, get up off your ass and run for office and don’t even talk to me about it if you don’t vote’ and if that doesn’t work for you…move out! Go to oh...Let’s say... Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, or any other troubled nation. I am sure they would be happy to have you. (I’ll save this topic of another time.)

Having worked for this length of time and having been so True Blue has apparently caused me to miss the training classes on the following topics:

How to Work the System;

How to Be Unemployed but Still Be Able to Shop;

And the ever popular...

How to Beat the System and Get Most of Your Bills Paid.

On Friday I thought I would be proactive and make a few phone calls. I called the Unemployment Office and was told my Federal Unemployment Extension was approved and I’m “all set”. I called the Fuel Assistance group and was told I didn’t qualify. I went on-line to see if I was eligible for food assistance and was informed I am eligible for $7.00 per month. Gee!

I want to be the unemployed person driving the new car!

I want to be unemployed and be able to shop at Target!

I want my pending heating bills paid!

I just want to know how those other people are doing it! It just doesn’t seem fair, I don’t know the system. And it's not my fault I was at work!!! No one will tell you the system either. It’s like a club or something. A secret society of the unemployed.

So if anyone knows when the next class is scheduled please let me know, my calendar is open.

And by the way… the person who told me Friday that I was “all set” was wrong… I couldn’t into my account on-line…couldn’t do it on the phone either… had to call and spend thirty seven minutes on hold waiting for a human.

The First Friday/Saturday, aka: Saturday/Sunday Blog:

Wow! What a weekend. I had all good intentions to complete the Friday/Saturday blog, but ‘things’ got a little behind schedule.

The actual title of this blog is: I Love My Children So Much!

Sometimes we get busy and you take the people in your lives for granted. Unintentionally, but we do. I want to tell you what two exceptional children I have. I don’t do this too often, I believe in privacy, theirs, mine, and my families. This is why I never use names.

But I feel this need to tell you of these two people and if you are lucky enough to meet people like these two women – consider yourself lucky.

My youngest daughter spent the entire summer (with a few excursions with friends) but most of the summer with me. She helped me with laundry, shopping, gardening, cleaning, and was hostess when people stopped in. She was clear headed when I was not. She was my eyes for labels in the grocery store. She was my muscles when I couldn’t lift something. She cooked most nights, healthy!, for me. She scolded when I was over my daily carb limits. She included me on her craft projects, knowing I don’t have the best dexterity or eyesight anymore and really couldn’t help. She made me laugh at LEAST five times a day.

My oldest daughter spent the weekend with us. She gave up her weekend and left work at noon on Friday (even though she was very busy) to help move her sister back to college…but she did so much more. On Friday afternoon, she came with me and her sister out to do laundry… and because I was broke…she paid for it. She handed me 100.00 for spending money: gas, food, etc. She helped load two cars full of her sisters ‘stuff’ and then unloaded it when we got to the school. She helped move furniture around in her sisters’ room and set up her room so it was cute and comfortable. She bought us all dinner on Saturday and then took her sister to Wal-Mart for the ‘forgotten’ items of toilet paper, body wash, etc. Sunday morning she handed me $40.00 for gas and coffee… before she left she looked at my computer to try to enhance the antenna…and after she left she picked up her sister at school to ‘pick her up a few things’ at Staples. Then drove the 110 miles home.

What do I say? How can I possibly thank them both for being the fine adult women that they are? I wish you both all the happiness and success anyone can have in their life…my love to you both.

Mom

What Would You Do?

There is a new(?) show on TV. It is called: What Would You Do? It is on ABC and the host is John Quinones. The premise of the show is what would the average person would do is they came upon something that wasn’t right. Of course, everything is videotaped with hidden cameras.

If you can watch only ONE show during the week, try this one. Some stories are funny, some are scary, some are sad, but, all segments show the true nature of humans – some will cause you to be angry and some will make you tear up a little.

For example, one segment showed a locked car, parked on “Main Street, USA”, summer day and the windows were rolled up. In the car was a life like doll strapped in the car seat, crying. People outside the car could hear the baby crying, some stopped, but most didn’t. Temperature in the car was 120 degrees. After the commercial they came back with the same story, slightly different. A golden retriever was locked in the same car. (There was a battery operated air conditioner in the car for the dog’s safety) and the odd thing was most people stopped. When asked, the people who didn’t stop for the crying baby stated they assumed someone was in the car with the baby, because who would leave a baby in the closed car alone?

Another example: A casting call is held, one-by-one the candidates are given the general premise of the job, “you will be speaking to the camera about the Good Samaritan principle, (they were then told the story of the Good Samaritan from the Bible), the candidates were provided a map instructing them to cross a public park and go to a certain building on the other side to meet the producer of the commercial and off they went.

Along the way they met a grown man sitting on the grass about ten feet from the walkway crying and obviously despondent. How many stopped to ask if he needed help? Only 48% stopped, some offered the use of their cell phone, one man had the man follow him to a coffee shop, told him he had a meeting, gave him $10.00 to get something to eat and said to him, “now I expect some change from that when I get back” and off he went. One woman so distraught over the man’s predicament offered her cell phone, realized she left it in her car, told the man she’d be right back and ran to her car to retrieve the cell phone for him, when she got back to the man she’s squatting down next to him using an inhaler because she has severe asthma.

This show is really done well. They spend time trying to determine why people act the way they do what is the motivator in the situation but more importantly gets you to think what would you do in these situations.

The Inner Voice

Today I wanted to talk about something I believe the world has lost. This loss is a tragic one. Without this component people are nervous, people are suspicious, people are afraid!

This something is called: the inner voice.

Why doesn’t the younger generation have an inner voice? Was it not taught to them? Were their parents those new age types who, while their child was pummeling a neighbor would whisper out the window, “Now, Johnny you stop that. Johnny this is not the correct way to play.” And when little Johnny stops the bloodletting, Mom would say, “Now Johnny you need to go for a five minute time out” while the neighbor’s kid is being hauled off to the ER.

Hey Mom…WHACK LITTLE JOHNNY ON THE ASS!

No one has died from a whack on the ass! That’s why it is padded! Now I don’t mean beat the crap out of your kid, of course not, but they must be taught that there are consequences to their actions.

Adults already know this… constantly late for work? Bad review, no raise, eventually you’ll be fired. Bank robbers, get caught and you’ll spend time in prison. Murderers, get caught and you will hang.

Why do most (not all) young people have no respect, have no drive, and have an attitude and a smirk on their faces you would love just to wipe off for them, is due to one thing: Parents!

There must be a consistent hand of punishment in the home. Whether it is a whack on the butt, a cell phone taken away, a computer taken away – something! Sending your teen to their room… are you nuts! You’re sending them to where their “toys” are. What kind of punishment is that? Take their cell phones away for four hours and now you are talking punishment.

Are you worried about your teen ‘hating’ you? Oh well. Let him/her hate you for twenty minutes until they need a ride. These people are not your friends – they are your children – you had them, you are responsible for bringing them up properly, respectfully, law abiding, and ready for their future survival.

Some teens and young adults are totally out of control. They say what they want when they want. They can be rude to a person, who really doesn’t deserve it. There is nothing in their heads telling them to: STOP, DON’T, NO! No priest, No parent, No Voice. Nothing. Who will these people be when they become adults?

A few weeks ago I was coming out the door and up the walk, our upstairs neighbors pulled in and a teenage girl, who I never met, got out of the passenger side. I said, “Hey how are you doing?” She said something like, “good thank you, how are you?” I was so struck by her manners, about two weeks later I was introduced to her mother at a gathering and told her about the meeting with her daughter and thanked her for raising such a polite person. Her mother beamed!

Mothers! When you see the proper behavior, spend a minute and thank the mother for doing a good job. Reinforce positive!

The Electric Skillet

Before starting I just wanted to say, Sister, get better and get out of the hospital soon!!

While working on today’s blog I was speaking to three of my sisters to help me piece together the missing pieces of my memory. I started thinking back again to my Grandmother’s house, only before she got sick, to the time when my Grandfather was with us.

We weren’t wealthy by any means. My Mom worked a full time job and two part time jobs to support us all – but she did it! While she was working (24/7) our care fell mainly under the control of our grandparents. They lived diagonally behind us. We would ‘escape’ our house by running through the backyards. They we would find all the comforts children looked for. Cookies, milk, maybe a piece of candy.

What amazed me most was Gram’s electric skillet. The electric skillet was located on the left side of the counter. I remember this as being an almost magical appliance. (If I knew at the time what an appliance was). My grandmother would make the most amazing American Chop Suey in this electric skillet. Chopped onion, ground beef, canned whole tomatoes, salt, pepper, and elbow macaronis. That is it, simple. The amazing part of this, when cooked, this one fry pan of American Chopped Suey would feed us all, my grandfather, grandmother, aunt, at least one sister and myself.

My sister told me the story of how my Grandmother would make apple pies. She would literally put them in the window to cool. Because she helped, my sister would receive a tiny apple pie, just for her. It’s a shame, I don’t remember this.

My grandmother would make pot roast on Sundays. When is the last time you made a pot roast? I remembered the meat had strings tied around it to hold it together, quartered potatoes, carrots, and the onions!!! The onions just falling apart on your plate! And the brown gravy!!?!!! Hmmm

My Aunt… a master of Jiffy Pop popcorn!

But the absolute best thing I remembered Gram made was tapioca pudding! From scratch! OMG it was the best. There was no Cool Whip back then so it was real whip cream made with a beater. The tapioca was so smooth where it should be, and lumpy where it should be, thick, sweet…yum.

Let’s move ahead forty-five years…

American Chop Suey = Pasta and Ragu

Apple Pies = Stop and Shop

Pot Roast = too long to cook, too hot to cook it, too expensive…too bad.

Jiffy Pop = Smartfood

Tapioca = Jello or Snac-Pak puddings

I commit to myself this fall or winter I am going to bake something from scratch. Maybe start a new memory and bake a tiny apple pie!

The Fourth Monday in a Row

Think about how really naïve you were when you were a kid. When you were young you never fully thought out your actions prior to actually doing them; the ramifications, the outcome, or any possible ‘whooping’ you would receive. I suppose you thought nothing you ever did could have been wrong.

This story describes what I like to call my most illogical period, that period of time in your life where you’ve been taught right from wrong, but haven’t quite made those connections to your actions. You can look at any kids face between the ages of eight and twelve and almost see the word, DUH!, painted on their forehead.

Remember, we went to a catholic nun-run school. We were a known element!

And this takes me to where my story begins, the fourth Monday in a row.

My sister and her best friend Nancy were my cohorts. Skipping school was a very simple process: we leave for school as normal, walk to the corner and meet Nancy, and brazenly walk to our Grandmothers’ house, where our exploits took place.

Circling around to the back yard we would enter the house through the never locked back door, quietly make our way through the kitchen, the dining room, through the hallway and climb the stairs that led to the second floor (always careful to skip over that squeaky stair). Meanwhile, our grandmother, obviously elderly, would be in the parlor watching Today and Hugh Downs or Jack Chase WBZ news.

We would quietly spend the entire day on the second floor of our grandmother’s house. We’d watch TV on a small portable B&W, play music quietly. We would have our lunches eaten by 10AM.

We were so sure of ourselves that we would never be caught, because we were prepared! We staged ‘fire drills’! These were practice panic run: hide someone is here, type of drills. Each one of us had a job to do when the drill started. GO! My sister would shut of any gadget we were using, Nancy would be the lookout and I would hide any food or dishes. Then quickly and quietly proceed to our assigned hiding spots: my sister hid under my aunt’s bed, Nancy hid in the back bedroom, and I hid in the front bedroom closet sliding the hanging clothes in front of me for that added protection. After the drill we would meet back in the front bedroom very pleased with ourselves.

We were so cocky about our skills, one of us, my sister, would sneak down the stairs at lunch time, make lunch for the three of us and sneak back up the stairs without my Grandmother being any wiser. We knew we would not be caught because we would not go downstairs until, The Guiding Light, came on…we were so sure Gram would not get out of her chair during her program, and she didn’t.

Then the day came that would scare the living bejesus out of any kid! The day all our preparations and fire drills could not have prepared us for: Our Aunt came home from work! AGHHHHH!! By the time we heard the car door slam we knew we were too late. We scrambled: TV off, scrambled to our prearranged defensive positions.

Once separated, I lost all sense of time, I’m in a closet, and I’m in the dark. Was I in there for a few minutes, a few hours? Did the other two manage to escape and leave me behind? Was it getting dark outside? I decided I would go on a scouting mission. I would leave the safety of the closet and see what was going on… I’d be brave. It was just then while pulling myself up using the clothes bar I got the full impact of what 300 pounds of clothes weigh! The bar came down on top of me, along with winter coats, sweaters, blankets, boxes, and I have no idea what else.

I couldn’t move! Hangers were sticking me, boxes were jabbing me, and I was failing at the attempt to hold the bar and the 300 pounds of clothes from totally crushing me to death. So I laid there. I don’t remember for how long, I don’t remember how we got out of there- all I know we were all so scared we swore we would never skip school again.

The Fifth Monday in a Row… This is when the word DUH appeared on our foreheads. Despite the fact we swore we would never skip school again, we skipped school again the following Monday. Now I know as kids we think teachers are “dumb” but come on… anyone could have figured this one out! Five Monday’s in a row? The same three kids? Ummm HELLO??

So we were caught. We got nabbed. We were heading back to the Big House in a car driven by our step-father and heading to the principal’s office. Yeah…good day...good day.

I don’t remember seeing much of my sister after that; I don’t know what the nun’s did to her. I did manage to catch a glimpse of her years later at her wedding. HA! Only kidding.

I truly don’t remember what happened to us for skipping school. I remember dinner was really quiet at house for the next few days… but then the memory fades.