Top 31 Things Everyone Should Know

A while ago I was webbing and came across a list of twenty-five things everyone should know how to do. On the list included items like: “Be able to drive in reverse with a trailer in tow” or “Determine your direction with a watch and the sun.” I thought these were pretty cool tips… and of course I can’t find that list anywhere on the web now. So I’ve searched and found another list pretty similar and I’ve added a couple more below. So check it out, see if you are a well rounded human being! My abilities are also listed below…

Change a flat tire
Cure a hangover
Sew on a button
Clean your place in under 45 minutes
Whistle with your fingers
Order wine in a restaurant without getting stiffed
Remove common stains
Parallel park
Cook one "signature meal"
Jump-start a car
Wrap a present
Do the Heimlich maneuver
Open a champagne bottle
Take good pictures
Change a diaper
Carve a birthday cake
Help someone out of a car
Get a raise
Use a compass
Keep a plant alive for more than a year
Send a drink to someone's table
Finish a piece of furniture
Hold your liquor
Fold a fitted sheet
Write superior thank-you notes
Dance a "slow dance" without looking like an idiot
Start a fire
Hold a baby
Use a full place setting properly

Drive a Manual Transmission Vehicle

Handle a Hammer, Axe or Handsaw

Okay are you ready? Make Your Marks!!!! Mine are below…

Change a flat tire NO – Can’t get the lug nuts off
Cure a hangover NO – Suffer you bastard!
Sew on a button YES
Clean your place in under 45 minutes YES – 5 Minutes if they are in the driveway!
Whistle with your fingers NO
Order wine in a restaurant without getting stiffed NO
Remove common stains Yes with scissors.
Parallel park NO…I live in Connecticut we don’t parallel park..we have people!
Cook one "signature meal” Um…no
Jump-start a car what and have the battery blow up in my face?
Wrap a present But of course!
Do the Heimlich maneuver If I had to
Open a champagne bottle No
Take good pictures I think they are good. Others say they are blurry, look fine to me!
Change a diaper Been there …
Carve a birthday cake I never knew you CARVED a cake…so I’ll have to say No.
Help someone out of a car you mean besides opening the door and saying ‘get out!’ ?
Get a raise I’ve pissed enough people off in my life
Use a compass The direction kind? Or that pointy thing with the pencil?
Keep a plant alive for more than a year As long as it’s plastic, sure!
Send a drink to someone's table I do every night it’s called dinner
Finish a piece of furniture I would think I’d have to START one first.
Hold your liquor For how long?
Fold a fitted sheet I worked seven years at a laundry mat…
Write superior thank-you notes Yes
Dance a "slow dance" without looking like an idiot No
Start a fire Yes with a lighter…No rubbing sticks together
Hold a baby As long as I can give it back
Use a full place setting properly Yes.

Drive a Manual Transmission Vehicle I have a hard enough time with an automatic

Handle a Hammer, Axe or Handsaw Ouch..

So as you can see I have some work to do.

Unemployment People vs. the US Government

PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING DISCLAIMER: In no way shape or form am I bashing the US Government / the State of Connecticut/ the Department of Labor or any other group I have not mentioned – EVERYONE I have met with / spoken to / or other methods of communicating have been helpful / courteous / polite.

I have been in the work force for over thirty-five years. I have paid my taxes, both Federal and State. I have followed all the ‘rules’ – I am a true blue American and proud of it. I never bash the government, I believe ‘if you don’t like it, get up off your ass and run for office and don’t even talk to me about it if you don’t vote’ and if that doesn’t work for you…move out! Go to oh...Let’s say... Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, or any other troubled nation. I am sure they would be happy to have you. (I’ll save this topic of another time.)

Having worked for this length of time and having been so True Blue has apparently caused me to miss the training classes on the following topics:

How to Work the System;

How to Be Unemployed but Still Be Able to Shop;

And the ever popular...

How to Beat the System and Get Most of Your Bills Paid.

On Friday I thought I would be proactive and make a few phone calls. I called the Unemployment Office and was told my Federal Unemployment Extension was approved and I’m “all set”. I called the Fuel Assistance group and was told I didn’t qualify. I went on-line to see if I was eligible for food assistance and was informed I am eligible for $7.00 per month. Gee!

I want to be the unemployed person driving the new car!

I want to be unemployed and be able to shop at Target!

I want my pending heating bills paid!

I just want to know how those other people are doing it! It just doesn’t seem fair, I don’t know the system. And it's not my fault I was at work!!! No one will tell you the system either. It’s like a club or something. A secret society of the unemployed.

So if anyone knows when the next class is scheduled please let me know, my calendar is open.

And by the way… the person who told me Friday that I was “all set” was wrong… I couldn’t into my account on-line…couldn’t do it on the phone either… had to call and spend thirty seven minutes on hold waiting for a human.

The First Friday/Saturday, aka: Saturday/Sunday Blog:

Wow! What a weekend. I had all good intentions to complete the Friday/Saturday blog, but ‘things’ got a little behind schedule.

The actual title of this blog is: I Love My Children So Much!

Sometimes we get busy and you take the people in your lives for granted. Unintentionally, but we do. I want to tell you what two exceptional children I have. I don’t do this too often, I believe in privacy, theirs, mine, and my families. This is why I never use names.

But I feel this need to tell you of these two people and if you are lucky enough to meet people like these two women – consider yourself lucky.

My youngest daughter spent the entire summer (with a few excursions with friends) but most of the summer with me. She helped me with laundry, shopping, gardening, cleaning, and was hostess when people stopped in. She was clear headed when I was not. She was my eyes for labels in the grocery store. She was my muscles when I couldn’t lift something. She cooked most nights, healthy!, for me. She scolded when I was over my daily carb limits. She included me on her craft projects, knowing I don’t have the best dexterity or eyesight anymore and really couldn’t help. She made me laugh at LEAST five times a day.

My oldest daughter spent the weekend with us. She gave up her weekend and left work at noon on Friday (even though she was very busy) to help move her sister back to college…but she did so much more. On Friday afternoon, she came with me and her sister out to do laundry… and because I was broke…she paid for it. She handed me 100.00 for spending money: gas, food, etc. She helped load two cars full of her sisters ‘stuff’ and then unloaded it when we got to the school. She helped move furniture around in her sisters’ room and set up her room so it was cute and comfortable. She bought us all dinner on Saturday and then took her sister to Wal-Mart for the ‘forgotten’ items of toilet paper, body wash, etc. Sunday morning she handed me $40.00 for gas and coffee… before she left she looked at my computer to try to enhance the antenna…and after she left she picked up her sister at school to ‘pick her up a few things’ at Staples. Then drove the 110 miles home.

What do I say? How can I possibly thank them both for being the fine adult women that they are? I wish you both all the happiness and success anyone can have in their life…my love to you both.

Mom

What Would You Do?

There is a new(?) show on TV. It is called: What Would You Do? It is on ABC and the host is John Quinones. The premise of the show is what would the average person would do is they came upon something that wasn’t right. Of course, everything is videotaped with hidden cameras.

If you can watch only ONE show during the week, try this one. Some stories are funny, some are scary, some are sad, but, all segments show the true nature of humans – some will cause you to be angry and some will make you tear up a little.

For example, one segment showed a locked car, parked on “Main Street, USA”, summer day and the windows were rolled up. In the car was a life like doll strapped in the car seat, crying. People outside the car could hear the baby crying, some stopped, but most didn’t. Temperature in the car was 120 degrees. After the commercial they came back with the same story, slightly different. A golden retriever was locked in the same car. (There was a battery operated air conditioner in the car for the dog’s safety) and the odd thing was most people stopped. When asked, the people who didn’t stop for the crying baby stated they assumed someone was in the car with the baby, because who would leave a baby in the closed car alone?

Another example: A casting call is held, one-by-one the candidates are given the general premise of the job, “you will be speaking to the camera about the Good Samaritan principle, (they were then told the story of the Good Samaritan from the Bible), the candidates were provided a map instructing them to cross a public park and go to a certain building on the other side to meet the producer of the commercial and off they went.

Along the way they met a grown man sitting on the grass about ten feet from the walkway crying and obviously despondent. How many stopped to ask if he needed help? Only 48% stopped, some offered the use of their cell phone, one man had the man follow him to a coffee shop, told him he had a meeting, gave him $10.00 to get something to eat and said to him, “now I expect some change from that when I get back” and off he went. One woman so distraught over the man’s predicament offered her cell phone, realized she left it in her car, told the man she’d be right back and ran to her car to retrieve the cell phone for him, when she got back to the man she’s squatting down next to him using an inhaler because she has severe asthma.

This show is really done well. They spend time trying to determine why people act the way they do what is the motivator in the situation but more importantly gets you to think what would you do in these situations.

The Inner Voice

Today I wanted to talk about something I believe the world has lost. This loss is a tragic one. Without this component people are nervous, people are suspicious, people are afraid!

This something is called: the inner voice.

Why doesn’t the younger generation have an inner voice? Was it not taught to them? Were their parents those new age types who, while their child was pummeling a neighbor would whisper out the window, “Now, Johnny you stop that. Johnny this is not the correct way to play.” And when little Johnny stops the bloodletting, Mom would say, “Now Johnny you need to go for a five minute time out” while the neighbor’s kid is being hauled off to the ER.

Hey Mom…WHACK LITTLE JOHNNY ON THE ASS!

No one has died from a whack on the ass! That’s why it is padded! Now I don’t mean beat the crap out of your kid, of course not, but they must be taught that there are consequences to their actions.

Adults already know this… constantly late for work? Bad review, no raise, eventually you’ll be fired. Bank robbers, get caught and you’ll spend time in prison. Murderers, get caught and you will hang.

Why do most (not all) young people have no respect, have no drive, and have an attitude and a smirk on their faces you would love just to wipe off for them, is due to one thing: Parents!

There must be a consistent hand of punishment in the home. Whether it is a whack on the butt, a cell phone taken away, a computer taken away – something! Sending your teen to their room… are you nuts! You’re sending them to where their “toys” are. What kind of punishment is that? Take their cell phones away for four hours and now you are talking punishment.

Are you worried about your teen ‘hating’ you? Oh well. Let him/her hate you for twenty minutes until they need a ride. These people are not your friends – they are your children – you had them, you are responsible for bringing them up properly, respectfully, law abiding, and ready for their future survival.

Some teens and young adults are totally out of control. They say what they want when they want. They can be rude to a person, who really doesn’t deserve it. There is nothing in their heads telling them to: STOP, DON’T, NO! No priest, No parent, No Voice. Nothing. Who will these people be when they become adults?

A few weeks ago I was coming out the door and up the walk, our upstairs neighbors pulled in and a teenage girl, who I never met, got out of the passenger side. I said, “Hey how are you doing?” She said something like, “good thank you, how are you?” I was so struck by her manners, about two weeks later I was introduced to her mother at a gathering and told her about the meeting with her daughter and thanked her for raising such a polite person. Her mother beamed!

Mothers! When you see the proper behavior, spend a minute and thank the mother for doing a good job. Reinforce positive!

The Electric Skillet

Before starting I just wanted to say, Sister, get better and get out of the hospital soon!!

While working on today’s blog I was speaking to three of my sisters to help me piece together the missing pieces of my memory. I started thinking back again to my Grandmother’s house, only before she got sick, to the time when my Grandfather was with us.

We weren’t wealthy by any means. My Mom worked a full time job and two part time jobs to support us all – but she did it! While she was working (24/7) our care fell mainly under the control of our grandparents. They lived diagonally behind us. We would ‘escape’ our house by running through the backyards. They we would find all the comforts children looked for. Cookies, milk, maybe a piece of candy.

What amazed me most was Gram’s electric skillet. The electric skillet was located on the left side of the counter. I remember this as being an almost magical appliance. (If I knew at the time what an appliance was). My grandmother would make the most amazing American Chop Suey in this electric skillet. Chopped onion, ground beef, canned whole tomatoes, salt, pepper, and elbow macaronis. That is it, simple. The amazing part of this, when cooked, this one fry pan of American Chopped Suey would feed us all, my grandfather, grandmother, aunt, at least one sister and myself.

My sister told me the story of how my Grandmother would make apple pies. She would literally put them in the window to cool. Because she helped, my sister would receive a tiny apple pie, just for her. It’s a shame, I don’t remember this.

My grandmother would make pot roast on Sundays. When is the last time you made a pot roast? I remembered the meat had strings tied around it to hold it together, quartered potatoes, carrots, and the onions!!! The onions just falling apart on your plate! And the brown gravy!!?!!! Hmmm

My Aunt… a master of Jiffy Pop popcorn!

But the absolute best thing I remembered Gram made was tapioca pudding! From scratch! OMG it was the best. There was no Cool Whip back then so it was real whip cream made with a beater. The tapioca was so smooth where it should be, and lumpy where it should be, thick, sweet…yum.

Let’s move ahead forty-five years…

American Chop Suey = Pasta and Ragu

Apple Pies = Stop and Shop

Pot Roast = too long to cook, too hot to cook it, too expensive…too bad.

Jiffy Pop = Smartfood

Tapioca = Jello or Snac-Pak puddings

I commit to myself this fall or winter I am going to bake something from scratch. Maybe start a new memory and bake a tiny apple pie!

The Fourth Monday in a Row

Think about how really naïve you were when you were a kid. When you were young you never fully thought out your actions prior to actually doing them; the ramifications, the outcome, or any possible ‘whooping’ you would receive. I suppose you thought nothing you ever did could have been wrong.

This story describes what I like to call my most illogical period, that period of time in your life where you’ve been taught right from wrong, but haven’t quite made those connections to your actions. You can look at any kids face between the ages of eight and twelve and almost see the word, DUH!, painted on their forehead.

Remember, we went to a catholic nun-run school. We were a known element!

And this takes me to where my story begins, the fourth Monday in a row.

My sister and her best friend Nancy were my cohorts. Skipping school was a very simple process: we leave for school as normal, walk to the corner and meet Nancy, and brazenly walk to our Grandmothers’ house, where our exploits took place.

Circling around to the back yard we would enter the house through the never locked back door, quietly make our way through the kitchen, the dining room, through the hallway and climb the stairs that led to the second floor (always careful to skip over that squeaky stair). Meanwhile, our grandmother, obviously elderly, would be in the parlor watching Today and Hugh Downs or Jack Chase WBZ news.

We would quietly spend the entire day on the second floor of our grandmother’s house. We’d watch TV on a small portable B&W, play music quietly. We would have our lunches eaten by 10AM.

We were so sure of ourselves that we would never be caught, because we were prepared! We staged ‘fire drills’! These were practice panic run: hide someone is here, type of drills. Each one of us had a job to do when the drill started. GO! My sister would shut of any gadget we were using, Nancy would be the lookout and I would hide any food or dishes. Then quickly and quietly proceed to our assigned hiding spots: my sister hid under my aunt’s bed, Nancy hid in the back bedroom, and I hid in the front bedroom closet sliding the hanging clothes in front of me for that added protection. After the drill we would meet back in the front bedroom very pleased with ourselves.

We were so cocky about our skills, one of us, my sister, would sneak down the stairs at lunch time, make lunch for the three of us and sneak back up the stairs without my Grandmother being any wiser. We knew we would not be caught because we would not go downstairs until, The Guiding Light, came on…we were so sure Gram would not get out of her chair during her program, and she didn’t.

Then the day came that would scare the living bejesus out of any kid! The day all our preparations and fire drills could not have prepared us for: Our Aunt came home from work! AGHHHHH!! By the time we heard the car door slam we knew we were too late. We scrambled: TV off, scrambled to our prearranged defensive positions.

Once separated, I lost all sense of time, I’m in a closet, and I’m in the dark. Was I in there for a few minutes, a few hours? Did the other two manage to escape and leave me behind? Was it getting dark outside? I decided I would go on a scouting mission. I would leave the safety of the closet and see what was going on… I’d be brave. It was just then while pulling myself up using the clothes bar I got the full impact of what 300 pounds of clothes weigh! The bar came down on top of me, along with winter coats, sweaters, blankets, boxes, and I have no idea what else.

I couldn’t move! Hangers were sticking me, boxes were jabbing me, and I was failing at the attempt to hold the bar and the 300 pounds of clothes from totally crushing me to death. So I laid there. I don’t remember for how long, I don’t remember how we got out of there- all I know we were all so scared we swore we would never skip school again.

The Fifth Monday in a Row… This is when the word DUH appeared on our foreheads. Despite the fact we swore we would never skip school again, we skipped school again the following Monday. Now I know as kids we think teachers are “dumb” but come on… anyone could have figured this one out! Five Monday’s in a row? The same three kids? Ummm HELLO??

So we were caught. We got nabbed. We were heading back to the Big House in a car driven by our step-father and heading to the principal’s office. Yeah…good day...good day.

I don’t remember seeing much of my sister after that; I don’t know what the nun’s did to her. I did manage to catch a glimpse of her years later at her wedding. HA! Only kidding.

I truly don’t remember what happened to us for skipping school. I remember dinner was really quiet at house for the next few days… but then the memory fades.

Habit Forming

I wonder sometimes exactly how and when my final personality developed. I think back growing up and try to remember the events or activities that have made me who I am today, meaning by the “who” I am is, how I react to things, do I panic? Am I calm? How do I try to treat my fellow man? What kind of person am I?

I wonder too if these life forming events would have had different outcomes if I was say, a year or two older, for example, I remember the day John F. Kennedy died. I remember being outside and I remember going into my Grandmother’s parlor and she and my Aunt, who was sitting in her teal green rocking chair, were watching TV and they were crying. I was told to go out and play. I went outside and played with the chestnuts I stored in the cellars window well. I remember this very clearly. This was in 1963. I was six years old. But what if I was seven or eight? Would my recollections of that day be different and therefore add a new layer of forming personality? I would like to believe I was formed by the daily intake of the events occurring around me, but then I do a reality check and realize I was formed by: THE NUNS!

Ah...the loving, caring women from the order of the Sisters of Saint Joseph. The memories of being at the Immaculate Conception School come back to me in vivid, but blurry, flashbacks. Seriously, I do not have a continuous memory stream of this time. I remember our uniforms: navy blue jumpers, white shirts, clip on tie, navy blue knee socks, and my good shoes! I remember being lined up by height, two-by-two’s to come back in from recess or to leave school for the day as the bus numbers were called out. I also remember there were always at least fifty students in each class and you could hear a pin drop.

And then I remember... Oh the evil of it all! I remember two nuns talking at the door between the classrooms. I could feel they were talking about me! (They probably weren’t) It was at that moment my life as an innocent child ended. Forever after this time I was known as the ‘black sheep’, the dark child!

I was the spawn of Satan!! I was…I was… Left Handed!! (my poor mother, she tried so hard with us)

I felt so ostracized, there must have been others? I was in second grade when the news spread throughout the school like wild fire. ‘The Spawn of Satan is in Sister Mary Francis’ classroom!’

It was then the school decided they would envelope me into their loving, caring arms and break the evil spirits hold on my inner soul and began the long process of cleansing my spirit. Thus began their attempts to fix me, to make me right handed.

From that day on until the end of fourth grade from the minute the first bell rang for the start of the day until the buses were called at the end of the day – I sat on my left hand. Yes, sat on my left hand, (Yeah... that wasn’t to humiliating for a kid.) and forced to do all activities with my right hand, writing, scissors, etc. If caught using my left hand I was promptly whacked on the knuckles with a ruler standing on end. Two years!

I believe I was saved from further torture by those jolly fellows from Rome who completed their two year project called Vatican II. Along with stopping masses in Latin, they must have added some sub paragraph declaring no more hand tortures or something, because in the fifth grade the hand altering experiences stopped. So what personality trait did the nuns give me from this campaign, an innate fear of wooden rulers? Can I get a lawyer? I’ve always wanted to own the Vatican, heard they have a great library.

My final word on this subject: Haud res quis, religio gave optimus erudio quod ego gratias ago lemma illo. Latin for: No matter what, the nuns gave the best education and I thank them for that.

Doing Fifty with the Brakes On

You know what I’m talking about. When did you start noticing the subtle differences of aging? Those slight twinges and twitches, the popping knee cap when climbing the stairs, the locking elbow when reaching for something. Just know this, you are not alone. More importantly, know this; it’s going to get worse.

The first time I really noticed I was changing was about twenty years ago. I was driving to work, reached down to switch the radio station and apparently moved the car too far to the right and slit both right tires on ice sticking out from the bottom of a snow bank. I was just switching stations! Did I fall asleep while switching stations?

Have you ever been on the highway doing twenty-five in heavy traffic and look in your rear view mirror for ‘not even a second’ and the car in front of you is at a dead stop? You slam on your breaks causing a scene with the screeching tire sounds. Oy.

These are the tell tale signs of the start of the aging process. Your reaction time is shot!

I remember my mother would struggle to stand on a chair, say to change a light bulb, one foot on the chair and the rest of her would do a hopping, jump, step thing trying to generate enough momentum to get up on the chair. I’d say, “Ma, what are you doing?” “Getting up on the chair.” As if this was some normal process she went through. Now, I don’t get up on chairs, ladders, or any other item more than two feet high, equilibrium is shot!

I remember not so long ago, I’d watch TV sitting on the floor cross-legged for hours! Now I can’t get down on the floor unless I’ve set up a ramp contraption so I can get back up, knees are shot!

My two previous favorite hobbies: to sew and to read, don’t do that too much anymore, my eyes are shot!

So is this the grand finale of it all? You grow up, have children, they grow up and now you finally have the time to do the things you want to do and you cannot? How cruel. But this explains a lot, the elderly driver going 20MPH in a 50MPH zone – Reaction Time. The elderly couple with their Christmas lights still up in August – Equilibrium. The elderly woman pulling out of her driveway seemingly without looking - can’t see anyway.

So we end up leaving this world the exact way we came into it… blind, wobbly, and in diapers. Damn, I wish someone told me this earlier!

Timing is Everything

I guess this is a good topic for someone who is becoming consistently late doing my own blog each day.

What type of person are you? Are you always on-time to appointments? Are you without fail late? Or are you consistently twenty minutes early to appointments?

I tend to be the “twenty minutes early” person. Drives everyone nuts! No two clocks in my house are at the same time. I know why each one is set at different times, does anyone need to know??

My alarm clock is set 45 minutes earlier than I need to get up. This allows me ample time to make a pot of coffee, have a cigarette, have another cup of coffee, read the news on the internet and then, 45 minutes later, I’m in the shower, dressed, hair combed, teeth brushed, in eleven minutes flat! I wake my house mate up at 5:45 and we are out the door at 6:00AM sharp!! Drive two towns away and he is on the 6:25 bus.

Yes everyone thinks we are out the door at 6:00AM sharp, but in actuality we are out the door at 5:45! HA! Clock # 2 – The kitchen clock. The kitchen clock is the main clock in the house; all the other clocks are subservient to the kitchen clock. After all, the kitchen clock governs: cooking time, meal time, TV time, all the big activities of the day, it deserves to take the lead. All other clocks are set back or ahead based on the kitchen clocks mean time. Similar to Greenwich Mean Time, I suppose.

This works exceptionally well for doctor appointments. Let’s say your appointment is at 2:15. A ten minute drive to the doctors, so leave twenty-five minutes early, (just in case). (Leave at 1:50) In the parking lot of the doctors, you made very good time, its 2:05, head in (just in case), open the door and the waiting room is filled with ten – fifteen people with obviously the same appointment time. Check in, escorted to the exam room where you proceed to wait twenty minutes before the doctor comes in. He/She provides you with ten minutes of exceptional quality time and out the door you go. Head home ten minutes. You are back home at 2:55, but surprise! because your kitchen clock is in control, you really get home at 2:40! You’ve only been gone fifty minutes. It’s all just a deception of the mind.

Now if I could figure out how to do the same thing with a calendar…Let’s see, in January, if I make it February…. Let me work on this.

The Good Weekend

I had a good time this weekend and more importantly had the opportunity to see the goodness in other people. Sometimes we forget there are still good people here on this planet.

This all started during the week when my house mate and his father “planned” a gathering at our house so the ‘men folk’ could fish at the lake. On Thursday morning this gathering would be on Friday and there were nine to ten people coming, by Thursday afternoon this gathering was going to be on Saturday and there will be only five or six people coming.

I remember I kept saying to myself… “It’ll work out” – “it’ll be okay”

Saturday came, the house was cleaned, and the outdoor furniture was positioned in the yard to get a good view of the lake. The town happened to be having their annual boat festival out on the lake so boats were going by all decorated, music was playing, people dressed up in 1920 clothes – it was weird but very festive.

And I did something I have never done before – ever! I had people come to my house and I had nothing to give them. Nothing! Typically when I have people over I have a meal plan, beverages of all kinds, snacks, a cheese platter, whatever. Today, nothing.

Being unemployed has made me realize there are some things I cannot do anymore. I cannot afford it. I cannot buy it. I cannot have it. A pretty simple philosophy.

So in my head, I was calm. I thought again to myself, I don’t have anything to give them.

When our guests started arriving one person had a cooler, someone had a covered bowl with dip, someone was carrying paper plates, another cooler, and two large pizzas were ordered and delivered.

It ended up being a remarkable day of talking, fishing, music, gossip, laughing and we stayed out in the yard until way after dark, and when the temperature dropped way below chilly, everyone said their good-byes and headed home.

So my thanks go out especially to the boys Mom, who, I know must have prepped the food that was brought over. It was very gracious act – a very kind act. And it showed me how there are still good people in the world.

SPEAK UP!

A week or so ago I was speaking with one of my good friends, she mentioned how she struggles in social situations to keep a conversation going with someone she just met. She can start the conversation off, but after a few minutes of talking there comes that uncomfortable pause, the ‘um, wells…’, then, dead silence. A few brief nonsensical sentences later she then slinks away to find someone else to converse with.

After that conversation with my friend, I started thinking about one of my favorite people in history, Dale Carnegie. I don’t know much about him, he was a salesman but I know he wrote, taught, and developed techniques for people to use to communicate better with each other.

Dale Carnegie was not related to the rich and famous family of Carnegie Hall fame.

He was born in 1888 in Missouri. His most successful book was entitled: How to Win Friends and Influence People. This book provides the reader with thirty keys points of how to be successful, originally in business situations, but each of these ideas can be used today to improve your communication with others.

Think of a situation you find yourself; meeting a stranger at a laundry mat, pumping gas, standing in line at a bank, attending a gathering at the home of a neighbor, do you strike up a conversation with this stranger? Are you comfortable to do this? I don’t believe many people are comfortable, oh sure we can do the cursory conversation as my friend did above, but to maintain an in depth conversation?

Now add into this equation, our children; teens, young adults, who are ‘glued’ to their mobile devices. They NEVER speak to anyone – never mind face-to-face, they don’t even call each other anymore! Everything is texting, twittering, and whatever else is out there. They don’t even use whole words! A new language has been developed for texting.

What will it be like in 10 years? 20 years? Will we speak at all?

I have read as a society we have already lost the skill of letter writing. Now are we in the process of losing speech?

I’m glad to have my copy of Dale Carnegie’s book – it may be needed in the near future.

You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind. ~ Dale Carnegie

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. ~ Dale Carnegie

What’s Your Favorite Show?

I’m not one for continuous TV watching, (I’m too busy on Facebook, remember?) but I do have a few shows I’ll either watch on TV or on the internet.

Some of my favorite shows, believe it or not, are the cooking shows; Hells’ Kitchen, Top Chef and the new one, America’s Master Chef. Other shows I like are home improvement shows: House Hunters (which I’ve never picked the correct winner), Devine Design, and Holmes on Homes. And let’s just throw in Criminal Minds and NCIS for the drama!

But my absolute favorite, which I cannot miss, “everyone stop talking I’m watching my show!” TV show is: The Deadliest Catch.

We Deadliest Catch fans went through a very traumatic season this year with the sudden loss of one of our favorite captains, Phil Harris, of the Cornelia Marie.

Whether you watch the show, like the show, or even like crab, you must respect this man, whom for years has been filming Deadliest Catch and when the time came for his ultimate personal moment, he insisted the Discovery Channel film crew keep filming. Not for ratings. Phil scrawled a note (because he couldn’t speak) from his hospital bed stating, “Keep filming, it’s all part of the story”

And my respect also goes out to the film crew of the Discovery Channel. These people have worked with the crew of the Cornelia Marie for years and have made friends with these crabbing men. This film crew had to watch and film their good friend go to that big crab pot in the sky. They did this with such dignity and grace as anyone could.

We seldom think of the people who entertain us, the people on TV and in the movies who allow us to watch their craft that keeps us entertained. That is their job.

Then there is the group of ‘reality’ TV people who have allowed us into their personal lives – to watch, to learn, to fear, to get Dirty and for some, to die.

My thoughts to the men of the Bering Sea.

College “Bound”

Today my daughter and I worked on one of the preparatory steps of her final college year. Purchasing those ‘big ticket’ items as I like to call them. The items I will forever watch being used as a door stop, a window proper, or bed leveler. No matter where she ends up in the world, I will watch for these uses until the day I die!

We ordered her college textbooks. Without going into the boring details of it all, after reviewing her upcoming schedule, noting the book ISBN numbers we began the on-line search for books.

Here is a scary fact:

If we purchased her four books from her school’s book store it would cost approximately: $600-700.00. All brand new and in shiny shrink-wrap.

In the three years she been attending college we have learned some really important lessons. These lessons were not passed down from the school to the parents or from parents to other cash strapped parents. No one will tell you because THEY were duped into doing the same thing – buying NEW books.

A little trip down memory lane… Freshman year, college book store, cash register rings $840.00! Yes, $840.00. Thank goodness her sister was with us who promptly handed over the extra $300.00 to the cashier.

Sophomore year… hmm a little better, her and her friends started borrowing books, copying sections they needed to study with, studied together. In total, we spent approximately 250.00 – 300.00.

Junior year – this is when we became very smart! Used books from Amazon. Approx 200.00-250.00.

And this year!? We are even smarter! College book RENTALS! Yes, there are quite a few websites out there who will rent college textbooks for a semester. Then you ship them back. Are you ready for this?...we are so proud of ourselves…FOUR books… $145.00! Wow! Mind you this is our first attempt at book rentals. I’ll let you know how this works out. We are hoping they will all arrive in English.

So my friends, take comfort in the fact that as you grow older you DO grow wiser!

Demand Satisfaction!

The other day I mentioned how I hate to cook. This got me thinking of other issues I have with food. On those rare occasions when I must cook you’ll find me at our local Stop and Shop walking the meat case…back and forth… looking...pausing, mumbling to myself and then continuing on. After ten or fifteen minutes I’d be the woman standing at the meat aisle screaming, “When are they going to invent a new meat?”

Now wait, they have invented new fruits and vegetables haven’t they? Mixes of broccoli and cauliflower called broccoflower … mixes of plums and apricots called pluots.

Perhaps it’s time for a genetically produced cross between a pig and a chicken, call it:

The really, wicked, white meat.

Or a cow and a chicken and call it: Chiwow.

Or a fish and a pig, call it a: fig, (oh wait that name has been taken) but you get my point.

Come to think of it, wouldn’t these be the same people who cannot get the concept that the number of hotdogs in a package should be equal to the number of hotdog rolls in a package?

Never mind.

The Budget Crunch

Ever since I’ve been single I’ve had this overwhelming need to account for every penny I spend. I’ve always had this fear I would be the focus of some major IRS audit and without the proper paperwork would end up in IRS prison doing hard time, like accounting on an abacus.

To make sure I don’t end up in IRS jail, I track every receipt on a spreadsheet during the year. No I’m not being anal; this task is also helpful at year end doing taxes. I attempt to do this task monthly, which stretches out to getting it done maybe quarterly. I even have everyone in the house trained to keep every receipt, which in itself is an accomplishment. We have a receipt receptacle in the house where all receipts are placed.

Due to my inevitable procrastination I find myself sorting receipts by month, which typically takes an hour or so, after this task is done I start entering them onto the Excel spreadsheet again by month, and when the year is complete I have a summary of all spending. This summary provides me with the breakdown of the critical categories used to run a household. This summary is something I’m not proud of either. In fact, it’s a little embarrassing.

Here is the typical categories regular people use for their home budgeting:

Rent / Mortgage – Food – Electricity – etc…

Here are mine:

Rent- Restaurants-Clothing- Medical- Crafts- Daughter

Notice how my categories are much more reflective in today’s world. Yes, yes electricity is important and living in New England heating fuel is important also, but let’s be real! When it comes right down to it, if there’s a choice between paying my electric bill on time or going to Joann’s Fabrics for the five day mega blowout sale on scissors! Who do you think is going to win this one?

Yes, the restaurant category is very high on my list. I do not like to cook. I do not like to spend money on food that I then must go home and then actually cook it. Listen to everyone complain on what I’ve done and then actually have to clean it up? I think it’s a big waste of time, money and doesn’t it sound a bit ridiculous? My perfect dinner plan is to run up to Subway, get a foot long spicy Italian, and split it between us. How can you beat that for FIVE BUCKS?

Clothing… let’s just say I own about 83 shirts.

Medical… great for taxes.

Daughter – This is my main focus of my budget. My daughter is not spoiled, far from it. But I am going to give, do, or spend, whatever she needs to be successful at life. (I’ll explain my reasoning for this in a later story)

So there is my budget. Does it work? Well.. yeah… Does it work well? Well..no… Do we have fun? Most definitely!

Just how fast can you go?

I remember when I was a kid, maybe six or seven, we walked to a local drug store and sat at the counter and had cherry cokes. I remember the counter person would take a tall glass, put a squirt of syrup, a squirt of cherry syrup and the rest would be fizzy water from the fountain. I remember sometimes we would get Coke floats.

I remember when I was a kid, once a month, my grandmother would take my sister and me on the bus all the way to Worcester Mass (about 30 miles from our town) for a Saturday “Outing”! Gram would buy her monthly supply of stockings and take us for Chinese food. I remember the Chinese food restaurant was on the second floor, everything was painted green and our table was behind swinging doors so we had our own private room.

I remember my grandmother and/or our mother would take my sister and me to Main Street and do our school shopping, uniforms for school, Brownie or Girl Scout uniforms, knee highs, and to Thom McCann for one pair of good shoes!

I remember we had a hurricane one year, the water had to be two to three feet deep and all of us were standing on the front porch watching the water rush down the road. I remember my grandfather reaching over to save my tricycle pulling it to safety from the rushing water and I remember thinking he was my hero for doing something so brave.

And I remember Wednesday’s really were Prince Spaghetti day, with fresh bread from the A&P. I remember my mother coming around the corner walking from the store with two bags, all for that one meal. We set the dining room table properly on Wednesdays. We were so excited.

Today I was in line at the drive though at McDonalds’. In front of my car was a mini-van. I couldn’t make out the people inside except for one adult and two or three smaller heads in the back seat. The tray of drinks passed through the window, a minute or two later a bag of whatever. And the van drove off.

I thought to myself, have we reached the point of being in such a hurry we can’t go inside a fast food restaurant? Are we in too much of a rush to make memories?

No White Food...No White Food...

Sorry for the lateness of today’s blog… I’ve been doing school paperwork…

I think today I’m going to provide you with a health warning! A warning you really should heed.

Here it is: DO NOT EAT WHITE FOOD!!

It’s that simple. For those of you who don’t know, I’m a diabetic. Yes, the needle toting, insulin carrying diabetic. So I am pretty restricted on what foods I can eat. The goal of a diabetic is to keep their daily blood sugar levels down in the 110 or below range, not too low, because then you’ll go into a coma. (And I’ve heard if you go into a coma you’ll pee yourself)

Each day my goal is NOT TO EAT WHITE FOOD. White food is all the good stuff; bread, pasta, milk, rice, potatoes, peas, corns, beans, anything with flour, and of course anything with sugar. We can’t over indulge with meats because then your cholesterol will go up. You can’t just eat lettuce because then your sugar level will go to low. ARGGGHHHH!!!!

Again each day my daughter and I are challenged on what we can make that everyone in the house can eat, something I won’t get bored with, and tastes fairly good. And do this in a way so it is not an all day consuming task.

We have determined the ultimate food source for a diabetic is: Stir Fry. YES! Asian Stir Fry – vegetables, meat, spices, sauce. Sometimes a few noodles (not to many) noodles are there only for looks. Do you realize how many ways you can make a stir fry?

Pork – Beef – Chicken

String beans – peppers – onions – all the Asian vegetables

Teriyaki – spicy – mild – Indian spices – on and on.

One night you have Chicken, Peppers, Teriyaki the next night Beef, string beans, curry. The following night pork, onions, peppers, with spicy sauce.

On and on, night after night!

Anyone have a good casserole recipe??

WTF?

Todays’ blog is not a happy, funny one.

Yesterday I was happy. Today I am not. It is difficult to write humorously when you mind is not into it.

So today I propose a question to you all.

My question is: WTF? Or What is wrong with us?

I woke up yesterday to the news a man killed nine co-workers. He was caught on video tape stealing from his company, was brought into a morning meeting and was given the option to quit or be fired. (Personally I probably wouldn’t have given him that option) and he chose to quit, signed the proper paperwork, reached into his lunchbox and proceeded to shoot the people at the table in their heads. Left the meeting room, walked through the plant shooting at workers as they scrambled for their lives. Today, this is being marked as a ‘racial incident’ by his family and friends. WTF?

Later in the day I saw the cover of the August 9^th edition of Time magazine. Don’t anyone ever question why we are in Afghanistan. The woman on the cover had to be punished. She ran away from her husband’s house because her in-laws were beating her daily. Oh, in case you didn’t read the article her ears were also cut off. WTF are those people thinking?

To the folks protesting outside the Family Planning clinic in Hartford… no matter what your belief is on this topic… if you have the time to protest, why not donate that time and provide a couple of hours of day care for that mother who is struggling with the decision she must make. Maybe if someone showed her there’s help in the world her decision would be different. WTF do what is right!

And finally to those who whine, bitch, complain, about what they don’t have, or what their employers’ should be giving them, doing for them, and providing them. SHUT THE HELL UP! I’m sick of listening to you bitch, get off you dead ass and provide for yourself! Grow up and be a Man. Grow up and be a Woman. You are fortunate to have a job. The latest I’ve heard…”oh they took two sick days per year from us so now we only have five”… WTF?? You shouldn’t have any! It’s called a perk! WTF?

Okay…I feel better now.

The Chain of Command

As mentioned in previous stories, I come from a family of seven. Yes, yes, we were brought up as Catholics’ – although I believe most of us have moved onto other denominations or non-denominations as the case may be.

In order to protect everyone’s identities and to save myself from a good verbal lashing, I will introduce my siblings in the following manner:

M – Oldest

S – 2nd oldest

K – 3rd oldest

J1 – Me!

J2 – Only brother

S – 6^th oldest

D – The Baby

So there listed are my brother and sisters. My mom was married twice in her lifetime. Her first marriage produced: M, S, K and J1. Her second marriage produced: J2, S, and D. I am a believer of birth order and its effect on your personality. The chart below shows the characteristics of birth order.

First	Middle	Last
Natural Leader	Flexible	Risk-taker
High Achiever	Easy-going	Outgoing
Organized	Social	Creative
On-time	Peacemakers	Self-centered
Know-it-all	Independent	Financially irresponsible
Bossy	Secretive	Competitive
Responsible	May feel life is unfair	Bored easily
Adult-pleaser	Strong negotiator	Likes to be pampered
Obeys the rules	Generous	Sense of humor

Here is where my perplexed life comes into play.

M being the oldest was mostly unknown to me when I was growing up, she had grown up moved out when I became cognitive of my surroundings.

For quite a long time I was the youngest! Spoiled, bratty, got all the good stuff. And then my brother was born and two more sisters. Now I become the invisible middle child. Meanwhile my older sisters, S and K, are growing up and moving on with their lives.

Then came a point when I realized I was now the oldest in the house. So in a few short years I was the youngest, the middle child and the oldest.

In my adult life I attribute my unusually odd professional behavior to these facts.

My indecisive-leadership qualities (oldest / middle)

My genuinely indifferent human resources skills (oldest / youngest)

My need of total project involvement watching from the outside. (middle/oldest)

So you young ones out there planning to start your families… take heed from my warning… you will be creating the next generation of ‘financial irresponsible, secretive, outgoing, organized, know-it-alls’… don’t we have enough of those?